My toes hurt. So much that I couldn't sleep last night. It feels like thawing frost-bite. Both feet, it started in the big toes and has spread to all of them. What can it be? Gout?? You're not supposed to get gout at my tender age. I don't even drink red wine. Perhaps it's potato poisoning.
I wish I were a pobble.
Now, seriously, look away now.
Any doctors on board? What should I do? (Short of swimming the Bristol Channel.)