Friday, March 03, 2006

EU reforms latest: Single European Language planned for 2012

What is the single biggest remaining barrier to free trade in the European Union?

Is it that the British still drive in miles, or measure cricket pitches in yards, or drink beer in pints?

No, it is the lack of a Single European Language.

It's all very well saying that your Greek olive-merchant can now peddle his wares in the streets of Hamburg without having to work out how many Deutschmarks he should charge for 25 drachmasworth of olives, but if the Hamburgers don't understand a word of his patter, he's flogging he dead horse.

Fortunately, a solution is at hand.

It is called English, which will become the official Single European Language in 2012, after which date it will be illegal to buy or sell goods in any other language within the EU.

Sorry, Jacques.

No, really, I'd like to see how that one plays in the European Parliament in Strasburg.

Of course, this being the EU, they'd eventually settle on a compromise candidate: Basque.


  1. I know you've been away for a while but the DM, francs, gilders, lira, spainish potatoes etc. including the humble greek drackmeiers have all been replaced by a thing called the Euro.

    It will never catch on in my opinion...bit like daylight saving hours...

  2. Yes, oh aptly-named one, that was the point of my post. Or half of it, anyway.

  3. Oh... Jacques just wants to hark back to the day when French was the lingua franca.

    He's actually so very anglophobic, that man, isn't he?