Sunday, March 05, 2006

God resigns in new Blair Iraq row

God, a top civil servant in Tony Blair's policy unit, resigned today amid furious recriminations at the prime minister's recent statements on a television chat show.

Mr Blair had earlier told the Parkinson Show that God should take the blame for the decision to invade Iraq, since He had told him to do it.

This comment appeared to breach the principle that prime ministers take responsibility for their own actions, and do not publicly criticise their civil servants and advisors.

In his resignation letter, God spoke of his "sadness" that Mr Blair "lacked the courage of his own convictions" and was reduced to "passing the buck in this cowardly fashion".

God's resignation will come as a major blow to the Blair camp. Mr Blair has come increasingly to rely on God at key decision-making moments in recent years, especially after losing the services of long-time allies Peter Mandelson and Alastair Campbell.

Political analysts believe God could now become a rallying-point for Mr Blair's opponents, both inside and outside the Labour Party.

The damage to the prime minister was immediately compounded last night when in a surprise move Allah, leader of the pressure-group Islam, spoke out in favour of God, telling reporters: "Does Mr Blair's duplicity know no bounds? It is the prime minister, not God, who should be resigning."

However, others backed the prime minister, and last night a third deity entered the argument.

Yahweh, a shadowy figure whose real name is unknown, and is thought to be influential among Britain's Jewish community, issued a statement saying: "This is typical Chuch of England dilly-dallying on the part of God, and sadly this is the sort of behaviour we have come to expect from him. He took the decision, he informed the prime minister, and the prime minister acted accordingly. The decision was the right one then, and he should be standing by it now. Mr Blair has my full support on this."

The Buddha was unavailable for comment last night, and would only smile at reporters who came to his north London home.


  1. Names have been altered to protect the guilty.

    Mrs Jolly was forced to leave her bung taking lawyer husband. A spokes person for Mr. Illegal Bung said " Mr. Bung's thought the gift was in Lira and so worth around £3.50 and not worth declaring!" Mr. Bung's friend the Italic primo number one crook Mr. Belly up scone eater refused to comment, stating the Mafia had his number and he would be talking to fishes before the week was out. If he mentioned the Shares and the other gifts He's given to Mr. Lionel Blair his close friend and someone God had recommended he could do business with.

  2. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, etc:

    Help me out here.

    On 5th March 2006, I wrote this piece - "God Resigns in new Blair Iraq Row".

    On 8th March 2006, Terry Jones, former Monty Python, wrote a piece in the Guardian entitled "God: I've lost faith in Blair".


    Now, I leave it for you to judge whether Mr Jones owes me at least 0.1% of his fee.

    If you're with me on this one, you can make your opinions known by writing to, and perhaps Cc it to and

    Thank you for your support.