Sunday, March 19, 2006

In praise of... PG

To get you in the mood, I bring you never-before-seen footage of Asmund ("PG"), viewed here from the southern aspect.
The eponymous Pink Gloves, you will notice, are strapped to the back of his bike.

(See them in action here.)

For those of you who have not been following the story so far, here is a brief summary: Asmund thinks I am stubborn and am going to die.
(You can read the extended version here, but only if you a have couple of free days. )

Now, Asmund is probably right in one respect. I am probably a little bit stubborn. All cyclists are at least a little bit stubborn; if they weren't, they would take the bus.

Let me tell you a little story. A true story.

Once upon a time there was a man called Asmund.

Asmund had only two ambitions in life, both of them laudable.

One was to put herrings in tins.

The other was to cover Asia in Lines. Lines are what happens when he rides his bicycle from A to B.

One day, Asmund was in the middle of making a Line. He had reached the border between Kyrgyzstan and China, and the border guards told him that it was Not Allowed for him to ride his bicycle across the border. He would have to get a lift in a truck across the border zone.

Now this sort of thing is very bad for Lines, because it makes a Hole in them. And a Line with a Hole in it is as good as useless.

Asmund explained this thing about the Lines to the border guards, but they were unsympathetic.

So Asmund got out his tent, and went to bed, right there where he was, in the middle of the Highly Restriced Border Zone between Kyrgyzstan and China, and told the border guards that he wasn't moving until they let him cycle across without making a Hole in his Line.

And Asmund continued to lie there in his tent while the border guards pointed their rifles into his tent and told him to bugger quite frankly off.

This stand-off continued for several days; Asmund began to run short of water. His tent was getting rather on the high side, too, which got right up the border guards' noses, so they picked up the tent, with Asmund still inside, and dragged it, and him, out of the Highly Restricted Border Zone.

- The End -

Yes, I can be stubborn too.

Just a little bit.

PS Asmund - please feel free to correct any details in this story. You know where the 'comments' link is, I think.

---
See also:
Asmund in full swing [long]
Nocturnal shenanigans (twice)... [long]
To comfort Asmund/PG....
Rare PG tapes found
Has anyone seen PG?
In praise of... Japan
In praise of.... Iran
In praise of... Serbia
Posted by a blogger at 09:22

11 comments:

  1. Ed!
    First: The herrings around here are 300-400 grams and are not tinned but packed by machines in 20 kilos boxes and sendt to Eastern-Europe.

    Are you trying to point out that I`m more stubborn than you?
    The story you came with is not quite correct. The crossing at Irkestam between China and Kyrgystan went without any problems in October of 2004. No stupid cycling forbidden rules.

    But the story you came with was from 98. I had cycled from Bangkok to the border between China and Mongolia with my Line unbroken. Then they would not let me cross the border by bike. I tried all day and I think it was the last day on my visa so in the end I had to give up. The same happened in 02. The first time I could cross this border by bike was in 04 with the written permit from Ulaan Baatar.

    In 98 by the time I got to the Russian border I had desided not to give in to stupid rules. And stupid rules they had. First the Mongolian borderguards would not let me out on a bike. So I did put up my tent. They "caved in" and let me go to the no-mans-land. But the Russian stopped me and said Nauski,Nauski so I said Kjarta,Kjarta. They wanted me to go by train across the border to Nauski. I refused. The borderguards left so I putted up my tent again. On the Russian side. It was up maybe for 30 minutes before the boss himself came out with a few borderguards. The borderguards picked up the tent like a big sack and carried it over to the Mongolian side. I was NOT inside the tent. At that moment a small delegation came over from the Mongolian side to try to get the Russians to accept me by road. It did not work. The next day I entered Russia by train to Nauski. Then I cycled back to the border post in Kjarta before I started on my first bike ride in Russia. In 2004 I crossed the same border sucsessfully on my bike.

    I like my idea of "unbroken Line add-on" that I practice in Asia. To cycle across Asia in one go is difficult without beeing deep-frozen or deep-fried by the weather. Or beeing stopped by rules or some armed conflict. By doing it bit by bit I can easily plan it and avoid most of the problems and continnue another time when it suits me better.

    Working my way westward my four easternly points on my four Asia crossing Lines are Bombay,India and Petropavlovsk,Aktobe and Almaty all in Kashakstan. If I cycle from Petropavlovsk to Romania/Bulgaria then I have crossed my cross Europe Lines from 88 and 90. And I have finally cycled around the world once. If I continnue via Turkey,Georgia and Azerbaijan to Aktobe,then I have cycled around the world twice. Confusing?

    Many people could cycle around the world if they did it bit by bit. Europe coast to coast two months one year.
    North-America c.to c. two-three months another year.
    Australia c.to c. yet another year.
    And Asia split in two or three because it is so big and time consuming.
    Well,readers of this blog,there you go: Bit by bit around the world by bike in 5 to 10 years!

    A word of warning?
    Shit happens time and time again on a long trip like that. You can get killed even if you are careful.
    And if you are not careful? Then you get killed for sure!
    Good luck - you`ll need it!
    Asmund.
    ReplyDelete
  2. Ed!
    That bike of mine did look a bit messy. In China I often used China Post to send things I did not really need ahead of me. As long as it was things of no great importance to my trip,I did not considder it cheating. And things of great importance I would not dare to send anyway. But I never lost a single box. Twice Urumqi(02 and 04)sendt boxes back to where I sendt them from because they did not understand I had written on the boxes to keep them for more than 30 days. But both times I got the boxes in the end anyway.

    You probably have 5 to 10 kilos on your bike that you don`t need. So why don`t you send a box to GPO in Golmud on the day you are leaving Dege? It will take a few days to get there and then they will keep it for 30 days. Cost? Maybe wushe kuai. It will hopefully make your ride a little bit easier. Unless you send something that could have saved your life in the high mountains...
    Asmund.
    ReplyDelete
  3. NICE 2 long posts from Asmund just like the old days... all is back to normal

    Back in the south after stay in Inverness "Brilliant!" It's good to be alive...and have internet, cups of tea jaffa cakes and larger brill!

    Right so now I'm back and still trying to pack the next care package with more stuff when do you think you going to make it? to the post office that is?

    Back in the comfort of Darkest Surrey appart from the fact some chavs dumped a car on my drive "bolox!" and I'm going to have to phone the law to get it shifted...
    ReplyDelete
  4. Ah well, never let the facts stand in the way of a good story...

    A prize of six hundred million pounds, by the way, to the first person who can actually work out how Asmund's lines work.

    He has explained them to me a dozen times, and even showed them to me on a map.

    But I'm still Dazed and Confused of Dege.
    ReplyDelete
  5. Ed!
    OK,I try to explain it one more time just for you.

    Each time I continnue a Line my track has to cross the track from the previous part of the Line. The direction of the different parts of the Line can be either way,so I can avoid winter in the mountains or because of other practical reasons. I don`t consider this cheating,but changing directions because of more downhill would be. By mixing and matching I get good Lines. To you they may look like Frankenstein Lines.

    Of the three Lines ending in Kasakhstan one Line goes uninterupted to Dalian east of Beijing. Two Lines goes both to Singapore both broken only by rivercrossings. The fourth Line goes from Macao to the West Coast of Sumatra. Then continnues from Kanyakumari at the southern tip of India to Bombay(Mumbai). Two of these Lines will one day hopefully cross my Lines across Europe.

    From coast of Denmark through communist Eastern-Europe to Istanbul in 88 and from coast of West-Germany to Istanbul in 90.

    In America my two Lines goes from Miami to San Fransisco. And from Homer,Alaska to Caracas,Venezuela. The third Line goes so far from West-Coast to Denver.

    In Australia it becomes a bit confusing and complicated. Through the 90`s I cycled around Australia up and down the center and a roundtrip in the South-East. So I have crossed it East to West(or W. to E.)twice. And an abnormality: if I cycle Katharin to Three Ways in the Northern Territory twice then I have crossed Australia North to South twice as well. That makes it four crossings by my rules.
    Even more confused Ed?
    Sorry about that.
    Asmund.
    ReplyDelete
  6. Lines and cricket...

    ... I think your saddle might be missing you Edward.
    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice Asmund is back and already we have the words death, kill and frozen in one post brilliant...

    Just like the old days!
    ReplyDelete
  8. According to Asmund's lines theory I failed on my John O'Groats to Lands End trip because I got the Dartmouth Ferry rather than cycling to Totnes and the Torpoint ferry rather than that scary A38 bridge across the Tamar in Plymouth...

    Which means I need to do it again!

    Hopefully this time I'll find accomodation in Exeter, rather than having to sleep on a fine selection of benches in and around your fair city...

    Ed M
    ReplyDelete
  9. Perhaps Genochio will take you in when he gets home, er?

    And surely, the grass is softer than benches, or perhaps you could even bring a small air-bed with you next time?
    ReplyDelete
  10. I sometimes have to take a boat too. Between Panama and Colombia there is no road. So I cycled along the coast from Colon until the track ended. Got a canoe across a river then walked through the jungle or on the beaches for a few days until I went island hopping with boats.

    The tiny islands are inhabited by Cuna indians. And tiny islands indeed. Some of them with only space for 20 straw huts. With a rising sealevel they will all be gone. I asked them if they knew what the future would bring and they did. They would move in to the mainland they said.

    I got to the Panama passport control then another boat to the Columbian passport control. Then yet another boat to the dangerous town of Turbo. The trip partly by walking and partly by boats and canoes was actually more interesting than the bikeride itself.

    Two weeks later I stood at the beginning of the several km long Maracaibo bridge. The guards would not let me over,and they would not explain why it was dangerous to cycle over. But by asking them if they would shot me if I tried anyway,I found out why it was too dangerous for me to try to cycle over.
    Going in a car was cheating,but I have a special rule for just this. Boat is alowed! So I paid for a speedboat to take me across.

    Coming from the coast of Norway we would not be able to go anywhere without the ferries. So short nessecary boatrides are not considdered cheating.
    Asmund.
    ReplyDelete
  11. I sometimes have to take a boat too. Between Panama and Colombia there is no road. So I cycled along the coast from Colon until the track ended. Got a canoe across a river then walked through the jungle or on the beaches for a few days until I went island hopping with boats.

    The tiny islands are inhabited by Cuna indians. And tiny islands indeed. Some of them with only space for 20 straw huts. With a rising sealevel they will all be gone. I asked them if they knew what the future would bring and they did. They would move in to the mainland they said.

    I got to the Panama passport control then another boat to the Columbian passport control. Then yet another boat to the dangerous town of Turbo. The trip partly by walking and partly by boats and canoes was actually more interesting than the bikeride itself.

    Two weeks later I stood at the beginning of the several km long Maracaibo bridge. The guards would not let me over,and they would not explain why it was dangerous to cycle over. But by asking them if they would shot me if I tried anyway,I found out why it was too dangerous for me to try to cycle over.
    Going in a car was cheating,but I have a special rule for just this. Boat is alowed! So I paid for a speedboat to take me across.

    Coming from the coast of Norway we would not be able to go anywhere without the ferries. So short nessecary boatrides are not considdered cheating.
    Asmund.
    ReplyDelete

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