Saturday, January 28, 2006

Winter fuel allowance

My esteemed father has recently reached the venerable age at which the
Government, god bless'em, sees fit to give him a Winter Fuel

I am curious about how this works.

Does a man knock at the door, take his hat, and say, "Hello, I'm from
the Government, I'm here to help"?

And then, proferring a small lump of charcoal, say: "Here is this
month's allowance; don't burn it all at once."

Is the allowance delivered in cash? Or, if in fuel, does the recipient
have a choice as to the kind of fuel?

Can he insist on his inalienable right to the peaceful development of
nuclear weapons, err, I mean energy, and expect 100 grammes of
enriched uranium through his letter box every month, complete with a
"with compliments" slip signed T. Blair, Mohammed El Baradei, and
President I'madinnerjacket or whatever his name is?

(Of course, we, the good guys, do have peaceful, cuddly nuclear
weapons. We don't use them, you see. We just keep them as a nice
little fluffy shield so that we can get on with the business of
bombing other people with 'conventional' weapons without fear of
serious reprisals).

1 comment:

  1. Has anyone ever noticed your blog patterns resemble the 1978 bus time table's. In as much as there's nothing for ages and ages, just when there's call to dial thunderbirds international rescue. To workout where the hell your at a stack load of it turns up, in one hit! just like buses. Buses for those lucky enough not to live on the wet and cold set of rocks stuck in the north sea.

    Are rubbish and your better off cycling as you stand a better chance of getting to where your going on time, bicycles smell less of number 1's. Also the chances of getting 2 muggers and yourself on a bike made for one is slim.

    Also am I detecting a rant? I go to work for what seems like a week, so I can provide the finest "gruel" from Tesco. For my family and your off on one.

    First the chinese yes there's lots of them and they made a few mistakes like killing all them sparrow's in the black and white days (not sure when but pictures on telly where BW. So either ages ago or they where making some Belgian film noir homage to art house films in the reportage.) now your picking on the "septics" good job, they'll be after you and have you away on one of those planes that don't exist. (very quick way to get some miles done)

    Also your dressing like Osa-ma bin laden You have no fear at all man... respek!

    I'll get the banners painted "Free Ed! Capitalist Oppressors, he never meant no harm!!!."

    Finally if they offer your dad some winter uranium he should bung it on ebay and make a mint....