Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Hot news from Kazakhstan

Chaps, I'm in Uralsk.
Asmund will fill you in on the details, I expect.


  1. Ed,
    If you were a cat then that would be at least 2 of your lives used up! Somewhere in Scandinavia they're pulping the order of service for your memorial service (courtesy of Asmund). Glad, but not surprised, to hear you're inching along (inches on the map on my classroom wall). I'll tell the Kazakh PM on Saturday to send out a protection squad to see you through the remainder of his fabled land. Enjoy the caviar when you get to the Caspian.

  2. Glad to hear you're OK out there, Edward.

    I'll have to think of another version of a Darwin Award, to be awarded to those who have successfully proven themselves an invaluable asset to the furtherance of humankind.

    And give you one, of course. On the condition that you survive.

    Survival of the fittest and all.

  3. Ed!

    I was just going to report you "missing" after you failed to send a report from Aktobe. And then you are allready in Uralsk!

    Well the heat obviously didn`t slow you down!

    You are just about in Europe,do you feel the pull towards England?
    Does it make you restless,or will you take your time?

    Did you get your Russian visa in Almaty or will you get it in Uralsk?

    Hannibal and some other writers claimed that I had eaten a cafe owner,eight dogs,two cats and a giant safe.
    Can you confirm that they are still alive?



  4. "I was just going to report you "missing"..."

    That's our Asmund!

    We were ready to do the same with you, after you neglected to report to us all with warnings of imminent catastrophe for at least a good week or so.

    Or maybe it just felt that long...

  5. Ed!

    Just read your Stick-up mail. Terrible stuff! (The robbery not your writing).

    When people stop because of me in the middle of nowhere,I either don`t stop or I stop at a greate distance. I try to be polite but still outside their reach untill I can judge if they have ill intent or not.

    At night I stop and switch off my lights and even turn around. If they mean well they will understand,if they mean harm then there may be a exiting chase off the road.

    Back in 98 two drunk(?) young men in Siberia tried to rob me. Their motorbike had just broken down. The gravel road in the middle of nowhere they blocked so I could not pass.

    At that time my local taxman was after me,so I didn`t feel like someone else should rob me as well. Repeatedly I tried to make them pronouns the word "money" correctly. But all they said were "maaany,maaany".
    I guess I had a sick perverted pleasure about the whole situation.

    In the end I made a mad dash for freedom. But I wasn`t fast enough. The person with the giant machete looking knife managed to catch up with me and slice the rear tyre open. By then I had come to a downhill and escaped on the rim.

    Lesson learned for future cyclists: Shit happens,not everybody are nice. Espessially when they need money for vodka and you got it.
    And also,even if you ride "bulletproof" tyres you may need a spare.

    People not on his mailing list kan find the mail by clicking on "Browse the 2 wheels mailing list archives."

    Hope you didn`t hand over anything important like your passport or credit card.
    Your choice of route back home answered my question.

    Take care!



  6. "I guess I had a sick perverted pleasure about the whole situation."

    Did you want to rape them and pay them for their services?

  7. blimey. eighteen year old lords are kinda scary these days. shouldn't you be off somewhere safe drinking port?

  8. See I leave the room and your back. Now have to find the map and have a look where on the planet Uralsk is.

    I feel abit like the John Travlota character in pulp fiction everytime he goes to the toilet it kicks off.

    Can state that all seems well in Exeter when I dashed past on route to a job, the sun was shining and there was a sort of mist in the air which made it all look very nice and terribly english. All very nice appart from the cops a speed trap and getting moaned at about my tax disc which slipped out of sight. They must have been rubbing their hands when they flagged me down. I always feel very guilty when I get pulled over, however felt very smug when they had to let me go without a ticket...

    Nice to be back in the relative saftey of Darkest Surrey, look forward to reading all about your adventures etc.

    all the best

    C,H and e

  9. If i got this right then your 3 mm from the russian border, I thought you'd be ages yet. Bolox I'll have to buy biscuits and put the kettle on in a while from now.


    PS how's the energy drink stuff coming along.

  10. Watch it Russia Ed. They need a dame for the panto.

    When in Moscow in '90 I was standing idly in the snow on the embankment while Jan, the chef from the Netherlands Embassy, hailed a passing "taxi" to get us home from an exciting evening drinking BitBurger in the mezzanine bar at the Rossiya.

    A rather posh looking ministry type car, on government plates and heading down the side of Sheremetyvo III from the direction of the Kremlin, stopped. The driver got out, casually waved a gun at Jan, accepted Jan's proffered wallet and got back in his car. Strangely he left me alone.

    So maybe the moral is "beware of Russians bearing guns". Or "when a Russian is waving a gun about, try and stand off to one side of the wavee".

    I hope you have plentiful access to potential wavees in the next stage of your journey. Or put on a wig & makeup. They would never figure that out.

  11. I've been drinking so excuse the spelling, I'm completly boloxed by the distance you cycled so far!

    I do mileage for work and it's bad news however, 20,000km for a quick dash across the aprk is plenty.

    in the last month I've done the average mile for a family in 12 months! So you have my deepest admiration for getting stuck in and doing somehting you believe in!

    I now going to get more messed up as it the weekend and I have 2 days off before going to scotland via wales to cross into Poland via malaga... I love my job but wish the clients could be closer together.

    PS whatever happend to the recumberant Rob bloke? he's gone?

    all the best


  12. why so quiet? I know Ed's ok - he's bombproof, but I'm getting a bit worried about the 2 wheels blogging community. Has anyone heard any news of it? Can you confirm that it hasn't been savaged by wolves? Maybe we're being picked off one by one and I'm just posting to myself now, waiting for the moment a Kazakh wolf/bandit/avalanche lands on the back of my neck. Quite exciting really.
    Other Ed

  13. No wolves here just a mountain of work everytime I get near the top some toady dumps a new load. Can't win might join the rest of the team who are busy looking out of the window! Fascinated by some person who's broken down outside. We must look like a right bunch of Billy Bob's (hill billies to normal folk) Standing behind the window gulping down air like fish in a barrel!

    good to hear other Ed's still alive, recumberant Rob's either fallen asleep as the bike looks to cumfy or been eaten by man eating slugs. Lord pasta-snack probably off having it large by the looks from her blog! Asmund been called back in for checkup from the neckup, Hannibal Lecturer out to lunch, Elvis knitting hats for Polar bears, Einstein off doing really complex maths? Eddy Merck probably on the tour as that's happening now? Loiq? not sure about that one.

    While i slave away at a hot PC putting the world to rights.

    kind regards from darkest surrey

  14. plus all the others whom I've not mentioned.

  15. I don't want to say say "I told you prescott was dirty months ago!", but i did at last some more of his rubbish has floated to the surface.

    British MP's eh! the best money can buy!

    John P. aka "The Vermin's" got more secrets send large pile of dog biscuits wrapped in grubby £20's and "I'll spill my guts for a 50K in cash!" and that's cheap you journo's, don't get that max clifford involved he's only looking to make a buck outta my 30 years on the force and he'll probably stiff me for the doe.

    PS Ed keep cycling your doing a grand job, was lucky to go on critical mass event last friday bloody good gig loads a cyclists having a wicked time. Better than the miners strike in '84 anyway.


    T'Other Ed (the Glaswegian one who knows someone who knows emily, so that makes me like a third generation Genochio)

    All silent on the epic trek front... and on the Asmund front.


  17. When Ed sells the screenplay of this little journey of his - as he doubtless will - do you think that he'll offer all of us bit-parts in the movie? And how will he get to LA to talk things over with the producers? Presumably he'll windsurf across the Atlantic rather than fly...
    Keep pedalling Ed. We're all watching (even the quiet ones).

  18. I'm in the process of making a coracle if Ed's interested I'm more than happy to let him borrow it.

  19. "Bit parts list" I think their now called background actors! or actors with none speaking parts due to equity rules and regulations


    Danny Devito could play His Grace the Supreme Being of the Pika Nation!

    Elvis ? Nicolas Cage only as I think knitting would be a good look for him!

    Look forward to other opinions

  20. Is there a limit to how many other Ed's you're allowed? Seems a bit bureaucratic. Can't we both be other Ed and live in harmony? Or we could take alternate days.
    Another Ed (well, the same other Ed from before this other Ed started marking his territory)(and I spent a day earning £40 mixing Hegwash into a different dilution on an East Anglian industrial estate for Ed G's dad once, so I'm practically part of the family business)

  21. Perhaps I was missing something how many Ed's are there? I got to 2? For those of you watching in Black and White I'm confused is there 3 then?

  22. What's Hegwash anyway?

  23. is it some form of hedgehog all over liquid shower soap like product? As I think the market would be somewhat small?

    PS this has driven me to drink! Thank heavens for more relaxed drinking laws in this fine country in which we live (appart from all you other blogers who I guess may live elsewhere). Due the incredible sense this great government has shown towards alcohol I don't have to feel like a social outcast, lush, leper anymore as I want to have a drink before 10.00AM most days. I can now go to the pub stay there and get totally bladdered. Hurrah! for Toni Bleur Hurrah for weekend binge drinking, credit cards, flexible debt and curry. Hurrah I say! It is friday today? as I'm ahead on my project but seem to be missing a few days again. Damn I hate work!

    I simply have to win the lottery this weekend everything will be fine then.

  24. Hur hur hur!

    I was slightly tipsy when I made the earlier remark about T'Other Ed. It was meant to be taken in the context of "I'm Spartacus!" "No, I'M Spartacus!"
    Lost in translation I guess :P

    A mere Genochio number© of 3 have I (unless you count the night I had to sleep rough in Exeter because there were no B&Bs with vacancies at the time... he was in Shanghai at the time).

    Cheers :D

  25. right 3 Ed's are better than one I guess. Recumberant Rob is back, Lord Pasternack aka New screen name pending is out there having it large I guess, Asmund has become a lurker. Capt. Beaky last heard of 28th. Elvis presumed missing, Hannibal Leckter still out to lunch. Me well I'm here, Loiq lowering IQ in a pub near you, the dog and a half hamster rat thing.

    That's called the register, I'd also like to know what Hegwash is?

  26. Hegwash - the facts

    Not sure actually. I think Hegol or something similar was Ed's dad's revolutionary imported oil-dispersant product that combined enviro-friendly oil-spill-cleanupability with Ed's dad's initials (Henry Edward Genochio, I guess), and it possibly didn't sell in it's original industrial oil barrel sized bottle quite as well as it deserved to, and so was rebranded as the household friendly Hegwash that was less concentrated and came in a carton you could carry home without a forklift. Hence the need for random lunks to wield hoses and plastic cartons and so on. Apologies to HEG Inc if that's at all inaccurate or slanderous.

    Other (slightly less touchy now) Ed

  27. Are you t'other ed as in t'other ed from John's??

  28. No lottery winner here, forgot to buy ticket Bother! However feel much happier now I know what hegwash is.

    Just a question can't you when you've spilled the oil catch it and use it again? Or am I showing signs of stupidity here? I guess you've got to get the oil off everything it's touched but can't it all be saved? Would make more sense than flushing it down the plug hole?

  29. No lottery winner here, forgot to buy ticket Bother! However feel much happier now I know what hegwash is.

    Just a question can't you when you've spilled the oil catch it and use it again? Or am I showing signs of stupidity here? I guess you've got to get the oil off everything it's touched but can't it all be saved? Would make more sense than flushing it down the plug hole?

  30. Bloody hell, tumbleweeds tumbling is the only activity to note on the blog for a good few days, then suddenly a riot breaks out!

    And what is meant exactly by "having it large", Carl?

  31. This is my explanation bit rubbish but i'm still working at present. I was just watching (the otherday) while doing nothing in particular (waiting for more files render out). Kevin and Perry go large, it seemed ever so funny. (not seen it in years i guess) Also I was just sniggering about you staggering about while hammered as reported by yourself. Which reminded me of toothless martin a chum of mine who was abit worse for wear sometime ago. He fell over while steamed (he said he was tired and emotional ofcourse Yeah right!) knocked his front four upper teeth right out!

    Boy did we laughed in a caring sort of way when he came into the bar looking like the missing link. What was worse they bolted some right toomstone's in this mouth poor bloke looked like Roger Rabbit and Shergar's love child.

    So the moral is either go out wearing a tooth guard and crash helmit, or drink less I guess.
    Anyway that's what I meant by having it large. Your life's seems all go and excitment, mine very boring and sad. sitting here babysitting a big PC while it thinks about giving me back my ideas. (what a crap way to earn a fiver! Don't tell the boss)

  32. is which t'other Ed t'other Ed from t'johns? me? might be

  33. An exciting life is in the eye of the person living it, Carl.

  34. If Ed is feeling restless and a bit homesick then I expect a update of this blog from Kiev(Ukraina) in just a few days time.
    But then again Ed speaks "fluently" Russian and may take it slowly in Russia where he almost blends in.
    In Kazakhstan he had to rush it. A one month visa was probably all he had. Now he got plenty of time. Unless he wants to get back home quickly.
    Anyway he will hopefully be back in England in August sometime.
    Skinny and tired - but extremely fit.

    A comment to my last comment:
    To mock robbers and to refuse to give robbers anything and then to try to escape,are all very dangerous. The best may be to hand over an amount that you may think is sufficient without showing what you really got. But a robber from a sophisticated city may want your passport and creditcard and maybe also the pin-code.
    To give advice on something that may be deadly is difficult. Any future cyclists must think the possibility of a robbery through in advance. The best thing to do in advance is offcource to get a good travelinsurance.
    I will try to remember that next time.

    Carl wondered how someone on a recumbent manage to stay awake. I wonder about the same. A few times I have nodded off when the road got too boring or I had been cycling all night and dawn came. I woke up again when the bike started to tilt. To nod off while cycling may sound funny,but can be deadly. Something Rob and others should take seriously. Best to stop & rest for a while.



  35. Rob,

    I'm not sure about that comment, when you take yourself out of your comfort zone. You don't at times realise what your doing is exciting as you have no reference point to judge it against.

    "If your in the middle of the ocean which way is land?"

    from darkest surrey

  36. Yeah, well put Carl.

    I guess I view ambition (dreams) as the base for excitement in life. Be it in family, relationships, work, leisure.

    Surely dreams produce the greatest amount of excitement in the person in whose mind they are contained.

    Furthermore, one's personal dreams are incomparable to another's. We all have the strength to dream great dreams, and the greatness of those dreams is not in the eye of the beholder, but in the mind of the keeper.

    Therefore, at the risk of introducing some more dodgy mathematics, here is my theory:

    If the greatness of dreams is in the eye of the keeper, then the depth of excitement in the keeper's life as a result of the dream is also in the eye (or soul) of the keeper.

    In other words, I agree with your comment.


  37. Certainly freedom of expression and expirience is where it's all at. Most of us are lucky we may not have huge physical wealth but are able to do pretty much do what we wish. Think about the places where what your planning is just not possible, you might aswell say your going to the moon to someone who lives there. It means nothing and by their surrounding they are stuck in a glass cage. I guess they have dreams too?

  38. By the way folks - particularly Asmund - I received an email from Edward today. Strangely he hasn't updated his bleurgh, but he did say something about expensive internet.

    He obviously had to get his priorities straight about whether he wanted to send me a single short paragraph to my inbox about the expensive internet, or update his blog. Clever man.

    I just thought I'd let all you - and particularly Asmund - know, that he is still alive and cycling out there in the great beyond.

  39. I hate computers, got a lump the size of an egg on me ead! either I passed out and hit mellon on edge of desk/keyboard or (evil boss making me work more hours again) or someone crepted in and hit me with a hammer! While I was thinking right hard and not looking for an ambush. (always expect the unexpected!)

    I've looked up extreme headache and results where suspect found "trepanning" on the web to I might have to have a look to see if I got something worth looking at. Crap! I just pushed my huge egg shaped lump, it really hurts hope it's not the inner me wanting to get out I'm not ready.

    Erm.. getting back on track so matey said hello! Cool where is he at them? Cos we've got a sweep stake on the go in the office and I'm feeling lucky!

    Perhaps I've been the victim in a murder attempt to get my ticket for the sweepmoney? (A whole £2.21 quid scum i work with would sell their grandmother's false teef for less than 1/16th of an ounce a silver)

    They'll never guess i hid it under the mouse matt (fools!) Also if scan proves suspect I need the money to buy new junior hack saw blade if home surgery is best option to reduce pain. So hop along and dish the dirt. In the meantime I've put my head on the scanner at work must say results are inconclusive and out of focus to boot. (PS don't buy anything from PC world their trained advisors wear velcro shoes, don't trust anyone who cant tie a bow)

  40. L.P.
    What is the name of the city/town in Russia where Ed wrote to you?


  41. ace. it's like I've been sitting on my own in the daycentre, then suddenly the minibus has turned up with everyone else.

  42. I've been out to lunch with an old friend and seem to have missed all the fun. Nice to see Asmund's back I've missed him.

  43. Hannibal have you changed your diet to healthy and fit vegetarians?

  44. Well I did think about it, however old habits and all that!

    I thought about making a greek salad later best of both worlds.

    Shall I save you a few tasty bites?

    If you want to try something different?

  45. No thankyou! I try to stay away from that and "Ghost-soup" and whatever.
    A few years ago I read separat stories about Babuskaer beeing arrested for selling "special meat" in the market. I can`t remember if it was in Kiev or Minsk.

    By letting the quality of these comments slide,Ed will next time he comes to an internet-cafe feel the urge to come with a update.
    Last time it may have been the philosophical discussion between Carl and Rob he didn`t want to interrupt.


  46. I was just lurking in the background, if it's got feathers and looks like chicken it's fine much the same with any animal you can buy in market and walk home yourself then unzip at leisure whould not buy anything which you can't tell what it was. No discript lumps of flesh which have a strong after taste! Saw that happen in the Dominican Republic YUK!!!!!

  47. Are you saying some old russian bint was knocking people off and then selling choice chunks down the market! as 1 minute sizzling steak.


  48. Asmund - I have no idea where he is. All he said was that the net was £1 per hour where he was.

    I would have liked if he took the time to give me some of the geography, or updated his blog - but he hasn't.

    As a woman, I'm forever worrying... he was obviously OK when he mailed me. I hope to God he's still doing well...

    I have had a few vodkas though, so it's probably best that I stop here. Drinking and posting isn't usually wise. Just ask Loiq. :P

  49. hello there's some activity here?!?!

    I feel a ripple in the force. listen?

  50. Nah! just wind! going to get messed up for the weekend. Whole week already gone soon be christmas! All still quiet on the eastern front!

    I've worked out if I sell the house, car, TV and all my other rubbish and buy scratch cards I stand a bloody good chance of winning next to nothing and having live in a cardboard box for rest of my miserable life!

    So is it a good idea? Y/N

    Office sweepmoney now at just under a fiver. I'll be rich! and it'll all be mine.

    Oh well Snake bites for me them to numb the senses and silence the voices in me eeed!

    Have a nice, sunny and sober weekend, and remember you underage bloggers out there somewhere. Drink will not make you clever, taller, funnier and all them other things but it will make you considerably poorer so leave it alone!

  51. Yes, and make you talk sh*te and engage in sexual encounters with those whom you wouldn't usually step within 10 yards of.

    Leave alcohol till you're at least 17 and three quarters, boys and girls. And go easy on it, and keep it out of sight of those boys in blue too, until your 18th.

    Says Heather the Wise.

  52. damn it pubs shut and i'm not even have gone yet, there's no drink at my house either bother! What's wrong with this country when you can't even get totalled in the comfort of a bar till 05.00 on saturday morning. I'm seriously looking to either vote for the alll night party at the next election or relocate to some other place.

    Okay here's the deal I need 80K cash bung, 200K plus prp, dental, medical, gym membership, life insurance and an Audi RS4. for all of the above I'll relocate as long as it's a nice country and I'll do some right complex stuff with computers. Any offers? Oh yeah and there had better be some bars that are opne till really late and i mean late +

    PS Ed make an appearance as I need the fiver and can you be near prague? or within 30miles it would really help.

    Ligths still on at house next door going to see if i can borrow a cupo of larger, in a neighboruly manner.

    loiq making housing more affordable in atown near you!


  53. Are you silly? Just hoard spirits in your cupboard.

    I've been drinking a lot of vodka recently, as it's about the only thing that me and all me buddies like, and it seems to be the only thing that another person can think of buying me if we decide to have a little drink.

    And I'm scared to ask for anything else (like a bit of Jack D) unless it's dearer. And I'm nice like that.

    I've actually been drinking solely vodka so much now that I can drink it straight without wincing.

  54. Well, I haven't been drinking so much recently - but late May-late June was like a month-long festival for me. With my exams and college finishing, then parties and nights out, and birthdays (including my own 18th) springing up all over the place.

    It was a decadent period of my life.

  55. corrrgh! people next door are lushes, BBQ to huddle round till 3 this morning. with loads of luvvverly booze, must go round later and see if they remember me.

    Actually must go round and see if I remember them.

    Still no nuffin, from cycle king? oh well will slip back into the comfort of a alcoholic coma and have a look later.
    Something is bound to pop up sooner or later.

    leaving drink in house hidden first sign of becoming an alcoholic. Not sure what it means when you go around begging it off your neighbours "like some communual cat" that needs more than 6 square meals a day.

    oh well here we go again meow! I could really murder a beer.

  56. I usually have some vodka sitting in the spare room that I don't touch till I'm going out.

  57. Oliver Read was my role model, I'm building my way up to becoming a piss stained dosser. Who drinks Tennents Super at 09.00 every day and sings really loudly at the shopping centres. Every towns got one, I'm electing myself to that glorious position first near my home. However I'm looking to franchise it out, as there's a brilliant idea at the bottom of every bottle. I'll have a sign "Will Dance for Food!" I have a website to which you can subscribe for a small fee. If your fed up with the rat race you can have a life break or find some spiritual meaning to it all with me or I'll just rent my pitch to you.

    So here's the new idea you can buy a time share in a piss stained dossers life. Brilliant! Utterly Brilliant!!

    Why I've never thought of it before, rich toffs and yer upper mids would love it instead going of travelling while waiting for daddy to get them into the markets or while he squares away with his mates at the lodge a job at the FCO for the chinless ruppert.

    You could be out just having the time of your life, no need to learn a foreign language, social skills or even being nice etc. etc.

    Brilliant idea...

    On the other hand L.P. hiding Vodka to chug down before going out very bad sign. That's the road to the darkside, get your Phd first then work your way down the social ladder it's much easier. Than trying to work your way out of the gutter to an acceptable level.

    I need some barrocca and headache tablets and a lie down new neighbours are still drinking.

  58. The net was £1 per hour for Ed? Lucky him! For me it is now £5,but across town it is "only" £2,5.

    The poor old Babuskas were not accused for having killed anybody,but the newspaper noted there was a hospital nearby...

    I am doing my best to let the quality of the comments slide and so are some of you...
    So next time Ed comes to an internet place he feels he has to come with a update.

  59. Last time I heard from him he'd just made it to the Ukraine (last Tuesday I think).

  60. Last time I checked (about 7 years ago) main Ed alternated between aloof abstinence and knocking straight vodka back rusky style.

  61. Hold on hospital waste being sold as Sunday Roast have a word!

    No wonder they all drink like fish, probably trying to wash the taste away!!!!!!!!


    I just did a search on the old fishy net, baby eating was also common place right up to the 50's


  62. The old Babuskas obviously claimed it was pork or cow or mutton or whatever it looks like.
    Anyway I thought children in G.B. grew up with Roald Dahl`s children stories,so by the time they reached adulthood stories like these would only exite them.
    I don`t want to sign my comments because I am afraid Hannibal thinks I am a healthy and fit vegetarian.

  63. apparently it tastes and looks like pork there was a show all about it on the telly ages ago. Just think about it oh! This pork joint simply delish! appart from the tattoo on the side "I love Mum!"


    Better to buy a living chickin and get the old swiss army knife out and do it when your hungry! Or eat veges hard to fake them.

    Also R. Dahl was from further north not from darkest surrey so not on my required reading list.

  64. so where's he at then?

  65. To the anonymous poster who felt Ed was getting it cheap and easy at £1 an hour - remember that he's trying to cycle back to England, and that he lost his job writing freelance articles for Asia and Away, as the company folded.

    To Loiq, I don't hide vodka, I store it. And I take it out and spread the joy with my friends.

    I'm a good girl, I am. But I'm also tired and my dad's harrassing me to get my arse off the PC.

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  68. Nothing wrong with spreading a little joy and happiness but your in denial you're hiding it. Be proud of your addiction get a drinks cabinet. The best ones have a fridge in the bottom, bloody good idea allows you to keep all your valuable drink in one place.

    Much better than storing (hiding) it under the bed.

    My drinks cabinet had lights and everything made a very nice feature in my small and room.

  69. Ed?

    Where are you?
    Are you pushing yourself too hard?
    When was the last time you had a day off?

    The last time you had to take a day off was in Almaty when you were arranging the Russian visa. But have you had any days off since then?
    Probably not. That makes 6 weeks without proper rest.
    When you normally cycle you probably push yourself so hard it can be called "over-training". What you (probably) are doing now is far worse. Minor problems could be "blue" and constantly acking knees. Major problems could be with the main muscle in your body.

    Beeing constantly tired makes you less prepared for all the road traffic in Western Europe. Without proper rest you`ll be an accident waiting to happen. A few seconds unconsentration may be all it takes.

    When was the last time you had fun?
    Along the road back home you`ll pass a lot of nice places. Have you become so "jaded" that Europe doesn`t interest you anymore?

    Whatever it is you are hurrying home to,it will still be there a few days later!

    Have fun&take care!



  70. blue knees? that sounds great. is it only for long-distance cyclists, or can normalish folk get them too?

  71. Interesting I've been away and no update.

  72. On another note if you buy cheap blue socks from the market you can get blue toes.

  73. I could give you blue balls if you'd like?

  74. While that sounds like a good offer blue toes is enough for me.

    I don't totally get why you'd get blue knees? perhaps it's like a badge of honour thing like Jack Costo, Jacques Caeuoustou, Jakques costos, Jack custoss (suspect spelling) That french underwater explorer always wore a red hat.

    So it's a sign of being a mega, double triple fulltime takes no BS hard bastad. Cycle to the shops, I've been once round the world to get a packet of crisps! Me cos I'm a blue knee cyclists!

  75. Ed,

    We just did the launch for the 07 Mongol Rally in Hyde Park, 200 small crap vehicles, one 90cc moped and around 400 ralliers are heading your way as of yesterday. We've asked the organisers to keep an eye out for you on route. So if get mobbed by loads of people in fiat panda's, nissan micra's, suzuki jeeps (the really little ones) and other assorted bits of rubbish. That's who they are so not to worry!

    Hope all ticking along well and lookforward to news of your progress.

    kind regards from darkest surrey

  76. Carl, are you Loiq by another name?

    *Sherlock Holmes*

  77. What makes you say that?

  78. I have been trained intensively in the art of spotting lexical idiosyncrasies...

    ... you both say "darkest Surrey".

  79. Well it's a fair cop guv, it was me in the kitchen with the letter opener. And I would have gotten away with it for sure! If it wasn't for Lord P.

    I'm CW, Carl and Loiq when I've been drinking. I congratulate on "spotting lexical idiosyncrasies" you win a years subscription to Sleuth and a free jimmy saville sized cigar.

    Woke up yesterday from my 2 month long drinking binge noticed my neighbours are a nightmare and I hate them. They seemed really nice when wearing the rosey coloured beer glasses. Going to the gym tomorrow as I'm supposed to be running a duathlon in a couple of months time and I've not done any training at all ooops.

    Lord Pasternack aka New Screen Name Pending is Blogger of the moment for spotting my suspect grammatical errors considering I've also did this loads ... I'm surprised nobody picked up on it before...

    Got to go cause havoc elsewhere as there's whole new week of pain awaiting me tomorrow and I'll be sober... yuk! I'm off the drink now till after the event and I'm not sure how will I cope with reality again after my absense from it for the last 8 weeks...

  80. Actually, Ed suspected some use of pseudonyms months ago, but we've never had the hard evidence.

    By the wonders of Gmail, I give you:

    Ed: So cute that so many people and Asmund worry, but I wonder how many people all those people really are.
    I reckon there are 3 people using 12 different screen-names.
    Me: Ya reckon?
    Ed: I think Carl is several people.
    Me: I think Carl is one person, actually. One person, many names...

    Thank you very much for nominating me Bleurgher of the Moment. I'd just like to thank all my fans. All three of them. (And I don't know who that three are.)

    And I'm also appreciative of the offer of "a year's subscription to Sleuth and a free jimmy saville sized cigar".

    Not that I smoke, but is that a cigar the size of Jimmy Saville, the kind of cigar that Jimmy Saville would smoke, or a smoking cigar the size of his pink one, or what?

    PS. I also use my skillz in sifting out the sleazes, idiots and pervs of the net. I'm super good, man.

  81. So are you one of those honey pots I've read about in inter perv monthly? Your real name is derek and your 45 working for HMG to catch pervs, sleazos and general freaks? spawned by the interweb...

    There was case where some person had developed 39 personalities. think they made it into a film...?

    Also there was the bloke during ww2 who ran a network of spies all on the german pay role but sadly all in his head. Over 300 I think, he did keep the real money and i think he got a knighthood or something for his troubles...

    On the subject of cigars have a look here

    Jimmy as i like to call him likes the duke of york, I don't smoke but tried the diplomat once and it's like having a bonfire in the house and only £30.00 a go.

    On the website was some of my handy work I don't know if it's still there. Days are really long when you sober and there's still tons to do.

  82. Nah. Unfortunately I really am an 18-year-old female who really does have to keep her wits about her.

    Rape statistics give me penis envy.

  83. Well there you have it, still no news from Ed king a the road. I wonder if we're going to get to over 100 posts till we get an answer?

    "Ed! hurry up the kettle is doing the china syndrome in the kitchen!" Also I want to read the hemmingway I sent out. And I have to go to Poland so if your looking to get the finest cup of tea available in all surrey you might want to say where the hell your at! Cos I'll be out otherwise when you make an appearance.

    On the matter of rape statistics well that's bad odds. Any self respecting pervo will now know not to put darkests surrey in his posts. Where did you read these these stats, cos I want to have a look for myself. I know for a fact in switzerland rape and burglary is very low. This is due to the fact they all have machine guns under the bed I guess. Which makes you wonder that since they band people from sports shooting in England crime with guns gone up. Also winning medals in the Olympics for shooting has gone down. So if they make mugging people at gun point an olympic sport we'll be tops at it as we can't play football, rugby or cricket.

    Perhaps the switzerland thing is a glitsch as heroin is legal there so people are all too wankered to get dirty with each other.

    I might write to my MP about this again, they love letters like this during the summer break. Also 2012 is not a million years away. The worst news of all is I'm still working and sober the pain is too much to bear.

    just another wierdo, freak, sleaze from darkest surrey trying to make an honest living.

  84. hang on! I just had a drunken flash back! Your the one who gets steamed before going out? How the heck do you square that one, if your steamed falling over in the street with sensible behaviour?

  85. I don't get steamed before going out. Occasionally I'll have a little bit and leave the drunkness till I'm out with mes amis.

    One is allowed to indulge occasionally. Right?

    But I'd like to let you all know that I have been sober for at least three weeks and have no intention of getting intoxicated within the next three, or four.

    So you'll have to wait a wee while if you want to see me when my brain is fugued and my guard is well and truly dropped. I'm enjoying sobriety right now.

  86. Prescott is dirty! more dirt to come.

  87. Don't tell anyone... least of all Asmund - but I'm beginnng to worry about Edward.

    It's been a fortnight since his email and still all quiet on the eastern front.

    I'll bet he's fine and dandy, chowing on some noodles right now, and he'll probably update his blog tomorrow knowing him - but I am a woman, and he's out there, on his own, and not a peep has been heard for a fortnight. So I'm worried.

    Is it just me?

    (Asmund, if you start your death-wishing prematurely I will get all the other regulars here to tie you up and put duct tape around your mouth. Then tickle you for four hours with a feather. You have been warned.)

  88. Oh no!!!

    L.P. are you telling us that Ed is MISSING???

    I am a bit confused today.
    Where is he supposed to be?
    If this is July then he is supposed to be in Tajikistan. Right?
    If he hasn`t written in a few weeks then he hasn`t made it to the capital Dushanbe.
    What could have gone wrong?
    Maybe some bandits stopped him?
    Or looking for a place to camp he could have stepped on a landmine left over from the civilwar in the early 1990`s.
    Or he could have accidentally walked straight into a training camp of the former rulers of neighboring Afghanistan? They probably hope to take back power someday.
    Or stumbeled over a trainingcamp of that other group that used to have trainingcamps in Afghanistan?
    Or maybe a hiding camp of that much hated tall Saudi Arabian man?
    Even though Ed in their eyes has got a mighty fine beard,they would not let him escape alive.
    (All names have been left out so not CIA will Google their way into Ed`s blog and waste any precious time here.) (Don`t get me wrong! What Ed writes in his blog is never a waste of time to read. Unless it is about cricket offcourse. But CIA probably got better things to do than to read this.)
    And no. I know nothing about where or in what country those people are.

    So any number of things could have gone wrong for Ed in Tajikistan,all of them easier to understand than beeing deep-frozen in -30 degrees Centigrade on the Tibetan Plateau. Or to deep-fry on the uninhabited track leading to the Taklamakan desert.

    Wait a minute! Ed is hopefully in Western Europe and will be back in England in a few weeks time.
    Sorry about that! I was a bit confused. Or maybe it was the promise of a good and long tickeling?

    It is very unlikely Ed will get into any troubble on the final stage of his route back home. Only exeption could be if he is pushing himself so hard he becomes too tired and nods off or missjudge the traffic situation.

    However Ed may be in a slightly bad mood for having changed the last part off his trip back to England. Tajikistan could maybe be fatal,but untill then it would at least be much more exiting than Kazakhstan turned out to be.

    We need a update. All we manage to write is nonsense about this,cannibalism,alkoholism,sex and whatnot.
    No more excuses about expencive internet. In the libaries in Western Europe it is free - I suppose.




  89. He's probably having lunch with the caspian sea monster and it dragging on abit.

  90. Lets call the police!

  91. Asmund, since your last comment, the sentence for death-wishing has been raised from the simple feather-tickling to a good kick in the family jewels. Courtesy of Carl, Loiq and Elvis. The unholy trinity.

    Nice of you to jest and be ironic for a change though. Perhaps you're starting to realise that I make a much better in-house worrier than you, and are stepping aside for me. That's it, isn't it? Even though I lack the inside knowledge and the imagination, I have the ability to be worried even when there's very little to be worried about. It's the oestrogen, I think.

    I just hope ol' Genoch's alright...

    (I've never called him "Genoch" before. Heh. I hope he likes it.)

  92. He was occasionally called "Genoch" at school, although pronounced to rhyme with "poke". This was still better than the majority of teachers managed (think: Italian-cum-Subcontinent).

    I think Ed is just bored of us all...


  93. I'm with Nick. I'd have thought the main point of cycling very long distances was to avoid company and people fussing about you.

  94. For me,as a loner,that would be some of the good reasons to go on a long bikeride.
    Ed is definately not a loner. He may sometime try to trick himself into believing he is,but he is really not.

    To keep a blog like this with a comments function can help against loneliness and boredom and will help him with the main goal of his ride - to rais money for charities.

    Ed is most likely bored with more than his blog. He has been pushing himself so hard lately he is probably bored with cycling,camping and the rest as well.

    In his "Stick-up" email he wrote he was going to Switzerland. It is so far off the direct route back to England that he probably goes there to see Vic.& Da. He was riding together with them in Siberia in 2004 when I met him first time.
    They will hopefully convince him to stay for a while and rest. And remind him there is so much more to life than just cycling.
    They would know by now.

    On the 17. of July one those with "inside information" visited us here and said Ed had entered Ukraine on the 11. or so. It could have been one of the E`s,but was probably someone else. Maybe we can be told again where he is?
    Is he in Switzerland resting?



  95. Aye... Edward isn't a loner at all. He probably has his quiet moments and probably enjoys a bit of his own company sometimes. As do I.

    But he is an extremely personable character. Something that Asmund has been consistently correct about.

    That's why he lodges with all the locals who fall in love with him even though he can't speak their language fluently and stuff. :P

    And why, if I were nearby, I'd give him a place to sleep for a night and keep him for a fortnight.

    Everyone loves Ed! And when he reads this, it will give him enough strength to keep cycling back for his mother macaroni cheese.

    So he had better be OK.

  96. Oh bloody hell, that comment post was awful. I will never have my father rush me again.

    "mother macaroni cheese" should read "mother's macaroni cheese".

    And never again will my grammar and style take such a dip.

    But back to the main point. We all love Ed. Don't we?

  97. is that a question? or a statement?

  98. Well I'm with Elvis on this one lets call the bacon.

    He's a nice bloke and I miss the pictures.

  99. I miss more than the pictures. Ed is a star!

  100. Stars fade, kodak moments are for ever.

  101. Go fiddle yourself! :P

    Meanwhile, this makes good, inspirational reading.

  102. Rob, forgot about you how goes it on the sleeper bike? will have a look at your page next just got to see how the is going. It's like wacky races appart from the cars are all rubbish.

    anymore videos?

    Also got to dash should be in Poland tomorrow and ain't packed anything yet seeing as I'm driving it's gonna be tight. (may have fit a rocket or improbability drive to the van)

    Think all the stress over here is because of the heat! Also start of the hols so more nutters than normal allowed outside.

    Sure Ed's fine but probably adjusting his way of being as trips like these leave some pretty hard edges in the mind. Which need abit of processing before you fit back into what others deem as normal society.

  103. Oh great Rob... Do you have no courtesy?

    Ed could be dead out there, and you're just totally callously taking advantage of his recent silence to promote yourself.

    I hope you're proud of yourself.

    (Yes, that was somewhat ironic in tone.)

  104. And Carl - for your inspiration, me and my other band members once fitted a whole drumkit, two electric guitars, an acoustic, a bass guitar and a guitar amp into a taxi, along with ourselves and the driver.

    It can be done.

  105. Being thick helps I don't get it I'm not in a band?

    where you using Action man kit or was the taxi on steriods?

    Got to go Poland waits for no man

  106. Bring back some Polish polish for me.

  107. Well - if I was a film producer (and I'm not) this latest turn of events would certainly have me bidding for the rigths to the story. You know the score - Ed goes quiet for a while (remember that last time he 'died' he had simply been partying with the locals), and meanwhile the character development of his supporters goes into full swing, and even Elvis comes back to make a comment or two.

    Then, deus ex machina, Ed appears on BBC South East news having landed at Dover and being refused entry because he looks nothing like the photo in his passport. Spitting with indignation he gets deported back to the starting point of his journey - China. And to make things worse he's sent there by aircraft... Or something like that (please feel free to make up your own ending).

  108. I've run outta JD and H, waiting in for news of Ed.

  109. Ed?

    Where are you?
    Why don`t you write?
    Have you sold your story to a major newspaper? Or will the first journalist to spot your name on a P&O sailingslist from Calais (or wherever) be the first to poke a microphone and a camera in your face?

    Why don`t you want publisity now? You got publisity even before you left England. A few months later the "Mongolian horseman stole my bike" story was in "all" the papers. When you got to Shanghai you got more publisity.

    Then 6 months ago "PG" thought you either didn`t understand what -30C on a windy day or night in 4000-5000 meters altitude would do to you.
    Or that you knew but for some very odd and very,very sad reason didn`t care anymore.
    "PG" struggeled hard to convince others something was wrong,but the only convinced was "PG" himself.
    Luckily "PG" was wrong.
    But even more people heard or read about you.

    Now your amazing bike expedition is nearly over. Don`t you want people to know how it ends? And to promote your charities and create an interest for your book so you can get it published?

    Ed write something,anything,call me a "d.N." if you like - just write!

    Hope you are well!



  110. Dang Norwegian!

    Thaaank youu vuury much! I'll be here all week, be sure to try the surf n turf it's real good.

  111. Forpulte norske hvaldreper... (Joking.)

    I'm worried about Ed too, but let's all just wait a wee while longer. wangbas (or whatever they call them where he is currently) may be scarce or bloody expensive.

    Ed is a resilient character. Let's not assume the worst.

    And to everyone who doesn't speak a word of Norwegian (I speak the four that Edward taught me) - what Asmund is talking about may contain the expletive "drittsekk". Which you are all to young to be told the meaning of.

    So Asmund can tell you if he wants.

  112. In fact, I'd place my bets on it being "drittsekk Norske"...

    Am I right, Amundsen?

    General Secretariat
    200, quai Charles de Gaulle
    69006 Lyon

    Fax: (33) 4 72 44 71 63

    they'll root him out just mention info re. super dollar and they'll be all over this case. Like fleas on a dog, super dollar is hot news in the world of crime right now. If they think he's mr. BIG with a bag a fake readies. They'll find him alright! might not let him go as the yanks want mr. BIG bad!

    Imagine 80 mil in near perfect $50$100 bills just about to hit the world. You got love Osa B's style when it comes to teaching them fellas a lesson.

    Plus super dollar seems to come from the East my boss thinks N.K. close enough to Ed's route. So the saddle bags could be loaded with dead presidents! would make a good story for the papers.